Monday 24 February 2014

Inspirational parent; Mrs Bishop

In my future one of things I look forward to in life most is becoming a parent. Many of my friends have children, I have the privilege of four god children and my job gives me lots of opportunities to help families and children. When I see parents and children who are not happy I feel sad for the lost opportuntiy as those early moments will never occur again. 

Parenting has many challenges for the modern woman. Feminism has afforded us many opportunties however I have noticed that many mothers are burdened with pressure to be all things to all people and, worst of all, criticised by other women. Despite the fact many of my friends are the primary wage earner they are also expected to be the primary parent and housekeeper too. While my fiance takes an equal share in the keeping of our home I am constantly told how 'lucky' I am for him.

For me, feminism is about choice, women should be able to choose how to give birth, being a full time mother, being a working mother, choosing how to parent, exercising or not, whether you want to breast feed or not, after all our bodies are our own. Some of you might have seen the Katie Hopkins and Peaches Geldof  <iframe width="420" height="315" src="//www.youtube.com/embed/MHexNsStJAg" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen></iframe> 'debate' about attachment parenting. I'm very much drawn to many elements of 'attachment parenting' but I also think it's dangerous for any method of parenting to be seen as the absolute truth.

On a slightly different note, recently I was lucky enough to be photographed by  the talented Katie Julia http://www.katiejpiper.com/katiesblog/ and a group of photographers attending her workshop including http://www.summerlilystudio.com/ who took this photograph...
One of the comments about the photograph was that the dress was "modelled by a real woman". I'm quite sure that this was intended as a compliment however it got to me thinking about how women treat each other. What is a 'real woman'? What is a real mother?

My friend, Mrs Bishop is one of the happiest parents I know. Her blog always makes me smile, you can find it here http://www.mrsbishopsbakesandbanter.co.uk/ In no way does she claim to have all the answers about what works in parenting but how much she enjoys being a mother shines through. I have seen her kindness, creativity and love beam onto her son Bert and out through his massive smile and ever arching eyebrow.

For a lot of women family will not be close by and I think that makes it all the more important that we support each other. I may not have children yet but I have listened intently to the stories of parents. I have listened to the two week honeymoon when both parents are off and the troubles adapting when one parent returns. I have seen the impact on relationships, the shame and pride women can experience when their bodies change. I have seen women fear going back to work then thrive when they do. I have seen women think they're career is defines their identity and then the focus completely change.

I have ideas about the kind of parent I want to be but I have no idea what challenges we may face along the way. One thing I know is that I would always feel able to turn to Mrs Bishop for some friendly and empowering advice.    

1 comment:

  1. This post just popped up in my time hop news feed & I re read it. Really made me smile & made me miss you lovely Lisa! I still loving every moment of being Bert's mumma, he is so fun to be around!! I know you're mega busy with wedding plans etc, but if you've got any free time before I'd love to catch up! Drop me a line beautiful & we'll arrange something xxx

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